So yesterday I was thinking... something I do sometimes (or too much)... I heard in church of a family that suffered a huge tragedy this past week. During one of our crazy storms a mom and her 6 kids were in their vehicle and a tree fell on it killing the mother and one of the children instantly. Crazy. And TOTALLY emphasizes that we just NEVER know what tomorrow will bring or how many tomorrows we have. Not that we should live in fear or paranoia, or hole up at home, but just the opposite -- really, REALLY appreciate the moment, live for today, not the past or future. So much easier said than done. But really a great wake up call/reminder and to me so important in helping decide how you want to live your life.
Ironically, something that makes me really happy is PLANNING. Which is totally living in the future!! I think that I am pretty good about not getting too attached to plans though, which is good. I just love looking forward to new, exciting things -- like moving to our new place, visiting home this summer, and of course the new baby!! And I have been loving making lists too!
I feel like everything I am doing right now is revolving around being pregnant and the new baby. I am totally in nesting mode - which is nice because we just moved! I just LOVE organizing right now -- I want to organize EVERYTHING. In fact we are more organized right now than we ever were at our old apartment and we were there for almost 2 years! I am really just in love with our new place and I think that a large part of it may have to do with being pregnant... It is so nice to have more space for myself and Mike, for Marisol's stuff, and of course for BABY STUFF! I was thinking that maybe part of this whole "nesting urge" is that you know (either consciously or subconsciously) that once the baby is here there won't be time for a lot of these things for... a long while!
Things I have been doing:
Spending time with Marisol, trying to "fill her up" with love and lots of fun, and prepare her as much as possible for our new family member... organizing our new living space... preparing myself mentally, physically, and psychologically to give birth again (I love my hypnobabies CDs!), and doing a lot of emotional clean up -- updating my pictures mostly and scrapbooks. I have been looking back a lot of Marisol's baby things too - she likes to do that too! The other day I put one of her baby dolls in the sling to show her how I can carry the baby that way. I showed Marisol some pictures of herself in the sling too. The doll also had "milky". We've talked quite a bit about nursing and how the baby will nurse a lot, and not do much except eat (nurse), sleep, poop... and sometimes cry. I am still a little apprehensive about how Marisol will handle the baby nursing. Since we moved Marisol has upped her "milky time" which is fine and to be expected I think... and it is still rarely during the day, mostly to go to sleep and to wake up.
So last night as I was thinking I should either blog or journal about these things... I was reminded of Doogie Howser and how he ended every night with a little blurb or reflection. If only I was that disciplined! But I am learning to be happy with whatever it is I DO manage, and know that it is enough...
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