So the past month has been a busy, happy one for our family. Most importantly, Mike is officially fully employed! We are so proud of him and happy for all of us! It was a huge relief as he has spent many months applying and going to interviews. The place that he interned at and has continued to work for, for over a year now, finally offered him a full salaried with benefits position! The awesome thing is that the same week he had another very good offer so he even had a choice! It wasn't an easy decision because they were both good offers but he decided to stay where he was.

We got a new vehicle (Honda Pilot) for mommy and the kids to drive around in while daddy is off making money. So that should open up some options for us which I am very happy about!

Marisol, Gerry, and I also went up to NY to visit with family and friends for a week which was tons of fun! Gerry is getting bigger every day -- this Friday he will be 3 months old! He is a happy little guy - his smiles melt your heart (well mine anyways!) and a good eater and sleeper so far (keep your fingers crossed for us!)
Here are some of my favorite recent pictures:

Gerry's first photo shoot, pretty cute!




Aunt Laura and Gerry getting in some "face time".


Nonna Gigi and Gerard soaking up each other's company


Getting some Grandpa BG love...


Big sis and little bro...


Nap time with Grandma!


Can I get any happier??


A visit to Aunt Carolyn's house and her many dolls (and doll houses, and jewelry)


Do we see a resemblance? (nice face Grandpa!)


A visit to a local Alpaca farm... Gerry did what he does best -- slept through it!


Lots of friendly Alpacas!






Marisol's first movie at the theatre! Aunt Stacie met us there... and Marisol made it through (and enjoyed!) a double feature - the 3-D presentation of Toy Story and Toy Story 2.


Back at home and carving our pumpkin...

So, I tried it. For two months I have tandem nursed little Gerry and big sister Marisol. I was absolutely FINE with this idea all through pregnancy. I read about it and felt prepared. Marisol and I had a GREAT nursing relationship, so I didn't expect that to change.

Towards the end of pregnancy I was starting to get a little irritated with nursing. Lucky for me, Marisol started consistently sleeping through the night about 6 months ago and she really only nursed to sleep and in the morning usually. So it was totally "do-able".

After the little man was born my feelings about Marisol nursing really changed. I told the midwife that she (Marisol) could sense my ambivalence... but the feeling was really stronger than that, I just was downplaying it. I physically found it annoying and it was hard to keep still. Recently our night time nursing was more like a wrestling match as we both struggled to get comfortable. There were quite a few tears these past two months.

This past weekend Marisol went for over 48 hours without nursing for the first time. She often doesn't ask for it in the morning, and has been falling asleep without it here and there for months now. On Monday she wanted it but it didn't last long. I asked her to stop. She rolled over and cried and cried. I cried too. When Mike peeked in I told him that I was done. So far we haven't again but it has been so HARD. I feel so bad, like it is the first time I am really letting her down. I keep reminding myself how it felt, and also how I wasn't really being "nice" to her while she was nursing. That is helping me stick to it but I still have doubts.

She has cried at night but it doesn't last too long and she goes to sleep quickly because she is exhausted. The hardest is the "I don't like you!" and "I don't want to cuddle with you!" and the pushing me away... maybe even more heartbreaking is when she does come back her face crumpled and lip out... This morning she was relentless, telling me that I am giving her ouchies, that I am making her a little bit sick, that we should NOT stop having "milky". Here is a word for word of one monologue:
"so, I need to have milky sometimes... I keep getting ouchies on my tongue, I keep getting sick a little, I keep getting sad, press play" (The movie we were watching wa paused)
It makes me think that she is not quite ready... also makes me appreciate how she fights for what she wants/needs.

This is NOT what I pictured... I mean I was committed to long-term nursing because I wanted to have a peaceful ending... because I wanted her to wean when she was ready... one thing that I have learned from becoming a parent is that things rarely go as we think or imagine they will. But it is our life and I love it... ups and downs.